Strong Women
Over the years I have met and worked with a small number of women that I would truly classify as strong women. Strong women intrigue me. I study them because I want to learn.
I study women who I feel are weak with equal intrigue. Partially because I see many of my own weaknesses played out in their actions. I do not list these "weaknesses" as a means to shine light on another's shortfalls but rather as a gauge I like to keep in my mind to curb many of my own tendencies.
Strong women don’t make others feel weak. Being in the presence of a truly strong woman makes you feel stronger.
Strong women empower people in-the-know to educate and don’t try to skirt around not knowing something themselves.
Weak women won't admit that they don't know something. They feel that admitting they don't know something equates to weakness. Often they choose to belittle the knowledge as a way to minimize the reflection on them for not knowing. "That's silly," is a common response and dismissal. They are not open to learning new things and miss wonderful opportunities to grow.
Strong women lead by calling on the strengths of those around them.
Weak women lead by belittling followers and taking away their power to augment their own.
Strong women listen. Really listen.
Weak women nod and stare at you while you talk but they don't hear. They are formulating their response while you speak.
Strong women have stories.
Weak women use their stories as a reason for who they're not versus who they are.
Strong women make mistakes. They don’t make excuses. They admit failures. They use their failures as examples to succeed not as excuses to fail.
Weak women amass a lifetime of excuses as to why they aren't who they want to be. Their mistakes are construed as the failings of others, of their position in life, of all things that they cannot control and of which they are a victim.
Strong women don’t gossip. They take no pleasure in the failings of others.
Weak women revel in the failures of others and use those failures to demonstrate their own superiority.
Strong women raise strong children. They take pride in their strength. They don’t try to hide their weaknesses but rather, they help their children learn from mistakes so they can be stronger themselves.
Weak women raise children who are unable to make decisions and live with the conseqences. Weak mothers use the failings of their children as excuses for their own poor behavior. They take no blame for their children's issues nor do they see them as opportunities for growth (for all involved). They simply sit back, complain and blame others. Children are excellent learners for this type of behavior.
Strong women make choices based on thought-out decisions.
Weak women set themselves up to be cornered into making a decision so they can complain about negative consequences.
You know where you stand with a strong woman. If they need something from you, they ask. If they have a problem with something you’ve done, they tell you. You aren’t left guessing. However, you never feel belittled by any exchange with a strong women. You feel stronger.
Weak women hedge around what they need until you offer a solution. This takes the power from you and gives it to them. They are then in a position where they can take you up on the offer that you weren't prepared to give. In the end you feel manipulated and can take no joy in providing a solution. You are also not then in a position where you can say no because you have been put in a position where you would be saying no to something you offered (inadvertently) to do. The resulting conundrum leaves you feeling used and powerless.
Strong women can pull off a bad hair day with grace. They can laugh at their physical appearance but never let it be the excuse for poor performance or bad decisions.
Weak women hide behind bad hair days like a mask that allows them to act in a way they wouldn't need to otherwise. It's as if uncooperative hair has given them an out for every decision necessary that day. Their day was ruined from the get-go.
When a strong woman walks into a room you know they are there. They don’t try to steal the show, they simply present a presence that commands interest.
When a weak woman walks into a room you might not notice them at first but they quickly become the center of attention through theatrics. They pout when they aren't the star of the show.
Strong women do not use sarcasm. Their facial features are open and interested.
Weak women belittle others by responding with sarcasm and spite. More than often this response is to the surrounding group so they will join in her take-down of the woman making the point. Eye-rolling and deep sighs are the sharpest tools in the toolbox when it comes to this response. They are not directly confrontational but they take the air out of the person trying to make a point.
This is not to say that there isn't room in this world for fun jabbing and smart-ass responses as long as they aren't intended to emasculate someone else.
Strong women do not squirm in their seats and act disinterested but they will end a meeting if there is no more to say. Everyone leaves feeling that they’ve had their say and they contributed.
Weak women hide behind electronics and masks of disinterest in meetings they do not call or where they aren't the focus. If they are challenged on a point of view they get combative.
These are simply my observations. As I have said, I am intrigued by what makes a strong woman strong, what makes them stand out and what makes other listen and follow. I am as guilty as the next woman of falling into weak woman behaviors and have even perfected some of them over the years. It is perhaps my view from the back of the orchestra pit that brings the most clarity in my mind to what truly makes the diva on the stage.
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